[Of course Abel knows why Cain and Prompto endure this nonsense, but he's not certain he should be the one to go blabbing about it to V. As irate as he is, as good as it would feel to have some ally in his feelings of disdain, and even though Prompto was the one to spill it to Abel before Cain could explain, it's probably not his place to spread the mission objective around.]
Maybe. I guess it's hard to say no to a big fancy party with real meat when someone's gone to the trouble. Even if he's just showing off.
[And then the focus shifts to Abel, and it's definitely nerve-wracking. Not because he's ashamed of where he came from or it's particularly difficult to talk about, but nobody ever asks... It's both strange and a strange relief.]
Difficult. My dad is a career politician on Earth, he's very influential, his party looks to him a lot to lead the charge on issues. Conservative issues, things I never agreed with. I think he figured out when I was a preteen that I wasn't going to fall in line, so he and his advisers controlled every outward aspect of our home life. So we would appear to be the perfect, wholesome family. Not a spot on us.
I wanted to push back, I really did. But I didn't have any room to maneuver, I lived at home into my twenties, constantly in school so my financial options were limited, and my only method of transportation could only take me so far. Maybe I could have tried harder, maybe I thought if I met him on his own level, he would respect me. But he never let anyone get through, even my mom was flat out ignored most of the time.
Some days I felt like I was in a plane that was on fire and divebombing towards the ground, and I could see that big shiny eject button, I knew I could reach it, and it would be so easy to press it and just leave everything behind. Save myself the pain. But the trouble with that was I'd have a clear view of the wreck. I'd have to watch it and know that it happened because I'd given up.
I chose to hit the ground. I joined the Alliance despite how loud he shouted, I was placed on the front lines of the war, I never told anyone who I was or where I'd come from and nobody asked. It was like I was a new person. A stronger, more independent person. I wouldn't be the person I am now if I'd given up and become my father's model son.
I don't know that Hideki has ever even taken off, let alone struggled with the choice to bail out. But as someone who made peace with hitting the bottom and crawled out on my own, I despise the fact that he's comfortable with how he lives now. I see what could have happened to me, and I hate it.
[And not for all of the reasons he expects-- part of him, a part he doesn't want to acknowledge, envies how easy this mirror image has it. No fights over the dinner table, money whenever he holds his hand out, no obvious crisis of sexuality, no constant introspection or panic over saving everyone he looked at. How easy it would be if he just didn't care.]
[The other part loudly shames him for even thinking it.]
no subject
Maybe. I guess it's hard to say no to a big fancy party with real meat when someone's gone to the trouble. Even if he's just showing off.
[And then the focus shifts to Abel, and it's definitely nerve-wracking. Not because he's ashamed of where he came from or it's particularly difficult to talk about, but nobody ever asks... It's both strange and a strange relief.]
Difficult. My dad is a career politician on Earth, he's very influential, his party looks to him a lot to lead the charge on issues. Conservative issues, things I never agreed with. I think he figured out when I was a preteen that I wasn't going to fall in line, so he and his advisers controlled every outward aspect of our home life. So we would appear to be the perfect, wholesome family. Not a spot on us.
I wanted to push back, I really did. But I didn't have any room to maneuver, I lived at home into my twenties, constantly in school so my financial options were limited, and my only method of transportation could only take me so far. Maybe I could have tried harder, maybe I thought if I met him on his own level, he would respect me. But he never let anyone get through, even my mom was flat out ignored most of the time.
Some days I felt like I was in a plane that was on fire and divebombing towards the ground, and I could see that big shiny eject button, I knew I could reach it, and it would be so easy to press it and just leave everything behind. Save myself the pain.
But the trouble with that was I'd have a clear view of the wreck. I'd have to watch it and know that it happened because I'd given up.
I chose to hit the ground. I joined the Alliance despite how loud he shouted, I was placed on the front lines of the war, I never told anyone who I was or where I'd come from and nobody asked. It was like I was a new person. A stronger, more independent person. I wouldn't be the person I am now if I'd given up and become my father's model son.
I don't know that Hideki has ever even taken off, let alone struggled with the choice to bail out. But as someone who made peace with hitting the bottom and crawled out on my own, I despise the fact that he's comfortable with how he lives now. I see what could have happened to me, and I hate it.
[And not for all of the reasons he expects-- part of him, a part he doesn't want to acknowledge, envies how easy this mirror image has it. No fights over the dinner table, money whenever he holds his hand out, no obvious crisis of sexuality, no constant introspection or panic over saving everyone he looked at. How easy it would be if he just didn't care.]
[The other part loudly shames him for even thinking it.]